Here We Go A-Pondering...

A recent note posted by a friend has me thinking more about relationships. Lately I've become more aware of the the things I say, or rather don't say, when I'm talking to the people I care about, and pondering my motives.

I think that a relationship is often maintained by what you refrain from saying and doing, rather than what you choose to say and do, if not more so.

For the past few months actually, I've been semi-consciously working to alter the way I interact with people. There are SOOO many times (this is not unusual) where I have wanted to chime in with something playfully hurtful, or jab back when someone jabs at me, but I haven't. I could, but that would be a hit on the relationship. It most likely wouldn't end it right then and there, but it would cause an injury to it. Instead I've either laughed it off, tactfully redirected, or just carried on as if the original jab never happened in the first place.

Proverbs 15:1 says that, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." It would make sense then that there is a spectrum. Even if our response is just somewhat negative, but not harsh, it will stir up some negative emotions; a hit on the relationship.

If we do need to directly respond to the comment for some reason, there is a better way to do it. Proverbs 25:15 tells us that, "Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone." There is power to taking the high, or wise, road, and responding with kindness. Not with fake kindness, but with a genuine gentle and loving spirit.

Here is a verse my Mom quoted to us over and over growing up: Ephesians 4:20, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

I'm still not always great at the whole "turning-the-other-cheek" thing, and I still enjoy jabbing at people for fun more than I probably should, but I guess I'm realizing that often times the relationship itself is much more important to me than "one-upping" the other person playfully, or not so playfully.

Just some food for thought; hope you enjoy the taste. = )